Byron Counselling • Kieran Riordan • Psychologist and Counsellor

A cornerstone of relationship recovery and development is a commitment to ‘acknowledgement of what your partner is saying/feeling’ whatever the discomfortrumbling around inside you.  Developing  both the resolve and the skills to hear your partner out, will greatly assist a growing sense of togetherness and safety, even as outstanding issues remain.

Another core aspect of relationship repair, in my opinion, is being helped to find the clarity and courage to say how you feel and what you want in an assertive (not passive or aggressive) way.

Still another foundation element to successful partnerships is learning how to set clear boundaries with your partner, without being critical, blaming, rejecting or frosty.  This means for example,  being clear when your are or aren’t available to connect and saying when you feel disrespected, ignored or discounted in a manner they can hear you without misunderstanding.

Finally, my style of  couples counselling includes a review of how well you are ‘looking after yourself’  by taking responsibility for a balanced lifestyle.  Because individuals out of balance cannot contribute meaningfully to a long term tender and mutually supportive context of committed relationship.

Counselling then, finally assists with supporting commitments from both parties to self-care and self-development.  I would say it’s mostly true that, “A couple that grows together, stay together”.

Virtually all relationships can be helped in some way by a skilled and experienced counsellor.  Even if the help is clarity and support to achieve minimum pain and conflict in the process of separation.

There are great riches to be had re-romancing, fine tuning and ‘up-grading’ the quality of the various aspects of your relationship.  From how you talk to each other to how tender and complete your intimate moments are.  From the fun you bring into each others lives to the discovery of new mutual interests. From the ‘presence and depth’ you offer when you look into your partner’s eyes, to the ability to be silly and child-like together.

There doesn’t need to be a crisis for relationship counselling to achieve great things for you both.  There is also not much ‘down-side risk’  to attending couple’s counselling.  If you were to lose anything, it might be some pride and the familiar ground of relationship strain.  These you can well do without, in my humble opinion.